Abandoned

Abandoned
I left you on the side of the road,
in the pouring rain

I left you on the tip of lying tonguesimgres-1.jpg
and lips moist with deceit

I left you at my mother’s bedside
cowering in fear

I left you for the end of the day,
in bed, alone
crying under the covers

I left you in the safety of my bedroom closet
locked away
locked away
locked away
Life is too dangerous for you out here.
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Forgiveness

What does it look like? Feel like? Does it have a taste? Is it unfamiliar? Could I recognize it?

I imagine it will settle near my gums comfortably.

Eventually rolling off my tongue naturally like its always been there.

Perhaps it’ll first lay dormant with my taste buns before it slides its way down my esophagus
and into my gut
to sit
and fester
and take up so much space,
That there’s no longer room for the bitterness, anger, pain & fear.

I want that divine love to spread through my internal organs,
up/down my spine.
in/out my joints
flowing in my blood stream.
swimming in my heart.

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The Healing Slope

I was pissed at myself and I couldn’t figure out why. It took awhile before I could understand just why. Then I remembered: May was supposed to be my month! It would be the month I would be done with therapy. And I would be healed. I honestly thought that by May all of my dysfunctions and emotional baggage would be long gone. I looked at healing as this linear slope in which I was progressing toward this imaginary fini
sh line. I thought healing was this straight and narrow path. You’re either moving up the slope toward healing or your digressing down the slope further toward dysfunction. I was pissed at myself for missing the mark. Not making my goal. May is here now and at times it still feels I’m at the starting blocks.

I’ve been learning, I think Iyanla said that “healing is a spiral.” There is no right or wrong in your healing process. Everything contributes to your growth- progression- your good. If tumblr_myko4dDMXd1qfozumo8_250you make a healthy decision, it’s for your good. If you make an unhealthy decision, this situation has the same/ equal potential to be for your good, if you choose to look at it as an opportunity. Progression in this sense, means moving toward your Higher Self, higher sense of consciousness and awareness and truth. Ultimately, your good.

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